women staying in their own lane while running a race

#1 Stay In Your Lane

Being a socially selective introvert, simply means you’re capable of interacting in a way that one might deem an extrovert, yet you’re also equally capable of working in an environment alone. It means that you’re more willing and able to adapt depending on the situation, but that you would Prefer to have the flexibility of working alone, or in an environment that suits and fits your needs. At least that’s my definition being that I’m a socially selective introvert. You see, I love interacting with people, I love building new relationships, and I love to connect with people, organizations, and everything in between. But, I’m more creative, and get the most energy, When I work in an environment that allows me to expand, grow, and innovate Alone.

This is because I’ve mastered the art of, what my mother always says, “staying in my lane.” I’ve understood that some environments I just simply can’t function in. I also understand that at times I might be more on the introverted side and might even seem a little bit antisocial. And it’s not because I don’t want to be sociable, it’s just because the environment in which I might be put in is not something that I care to be involved in. Now, this does not mean that you have to be comfortable, on the contrary you want to be able to expand your horizons, and be willing to adapt in any given situation, Especially if you’re an entrepreneur or a professional in any capacity.

But being able to know the environments that work best for you, or staying in your lane, will allow you the opportunity to achieve your goals as a socially selective introvert. It’s important to know what works best for you, so that you can be the best at what you were called to be. It’s important to understand what environments, people, and organizations you work best in, and around. It’s also good to note, what environments overwhelm you, cause you to shut down, or bring on unwanted anxiety.

Socially Selective Introvert Tip #1: Prep yourself by Mapping out scenarios, that might arise, so that you can properly prepare for the adjustments that might be needed. Staying in your lane simply means understanding the environments that work best for you to get the job done. If you like to work, or prefer to work in smaller teams, be sure to note that, so that you don’t overwhelm yourself by being put in a larger more chaotic one. If you prefer to work with organizations that focus on more cause driven initiatives, seek out organizations that help in those areas, that you are trying to make an impact in.

Connect with people who can help in the areas you’re not willing to tackle. Bottom line be comfortable in your skin, but willing to adjust as needed, as long as it doesn’t take you away from who you are. There’s nothing wrong with a challenge, or stepping outside of the box, but at the end of the day you want to remain true to who you are, as a socially selective introvert.

a backstage pass sign into an event


#2 Utilize a Backstage Pass Approach

Achieving your professional goals as a socially selective introvert, can also be done by, what I like to call the Backstage Pass Approach. This is where you take advantage of otherwise overlooked opportunities to reach out, and connect to your clients, and the organizations in which they serve.

Utilizing the backstage pass approach, is going through the back door because the front door is completely overcrowded, and overly saturated with amazing extroverts. It’s using, and leveraging your social skills as an introvert, by connecting with people on a deeper level that would normally be overlooked because it’s simply not utilized. Whether it be email marketing, a text message, Or perhaps inboxing someone via LinkedIn. These methods can get your in front of the right people, in a setting that works best for your personality type. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do a live, or Zoom call every now-and-then, or take a selfie of you on the beach, but if you simply don’t feel comfortable, or that’s just not your lane it’s OK. Use what works best for you.

Whatever the case is, don’t allow what other people say about their best approach to reaching your audience, turn into your “best approach.” Use the approach that works best for you, while still staying true to who you are. Find the tool that allows you to maximize your voice, and run with it. And, don’t try to overwhelm yourself with too many tools, just focus on the ones that work best for you, serve your needs, and reach your audience. Everything else will follow, and remember you can always hire those areas that you don’t feel comfortable using but need to use, in order to grow your business and/or career, and meet your goals.

Socially Selective Introvert Tip #2

Try “warm selling” your potential clients by sending a friendly email, complimenting them on what you like about them, and how you can help them reach their goals faster. Then, follow up with a second email (if you haven’t heard from them in a few days), to see if you both can schedule time to talk more.

women going to a party where they're celebrated

#3 Go Where You’re Celebrated Not Tolerated

If you want to achieve professionally as a socially selective introvert, it’s important you go where you’re celebrated. Look, the truth of the matter is you can’t please everybody. So, choose the places, and the people, who push you but understand who you are and appreciate you for it. Believe it or not, people actually need us, they need us because we’re the thinkers, that don’t have to be the shakers. We’re the ones that put the pieces together, and pull out those nuggets that might be missed during a party, or a networking event. It’s important to hang around and be around people, and organization that appreciate what you do, and actually need it. Just like we need extroverts to keep the party going, we also need introverts to clean things up, after the party’s over lol.

All in all, we need everybody, in order to successfully achieve a goal, vision, dream and mission. And just because you’re an introvert, doesn’t mean you’re one of the ones who isolates yourself from the world, it could very well be that You are just selective in your approach, and the people you choose to share your stories with. And believe it or not that’s needed too!

Socially Selective Introvert Tip #3:

Join a community of people who “get you” and understand your worth. Join organizations who need you on their team, to bring the balance and synergy to the group.

we like you too sign, for socially selective introverts.

In Conclusion…

Be willing to push yourself, out of your comfort zone, but don’t change who you are to fit someone else’s narrative. Think of different out-of-the-box ways to reach your audience, client, and future partners. Surround yourself with people who get it, who understand that you’re different, and appreciate you for it. If you’re looking for your next job connect yourself with an organization who allows you to be yourself, while slowly introducing you to new ideas and ways to be more sociable, while still remaining the top-notch socially selective introvert you were you were created to be. 

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